Friday, 23 September 2016

no longer the past self

I've been trying to remember how I used to be in the past. Few years back, when I think I was happier or at least I had hopes and dreams. I was desperately trying to find a specific feeling, a specific place in time when I laughed.

But then I realised: I am no longer that person. The Past is the Past and there is no reason why I should want to be like that anymore. My life is present, I do not live in the past. I can not control the Past and the amount of information, the karmic baggage was different. Why would I want to be something that I already was?!

Just because I think I was happier, does not make it true. Chasing the Past is a dangerous thing. I realised I was stealing myself away from being present. And so, I decided to live the present as graceful as possible. To do as little harm as possible, to give thanks and show empathy to Mother Nature and everything that is around me. Be present, be graceful, be reflective.

With that knowledge, with faith in my power to stick to this awakening thought, I no longer feat the future me. I do not fear that I'll chase the Past again. I will know that no matter which tense, I did the best I could to be present, graceful, compassionate.

Wednesday, 7 September 2016

to think

Today I thought about the power of thinking. The power to stop and think, to stop the first impulses and rationalise the actions you are about to make. Is this ability the very essence that makes us different than the rest of our less evolved brothers and sisters?

I keep coming back to this theory, obsessively. To have a life full of no regrets because all actions were meditated upon. It does get to me, to remember stupid shit I've done just because I was not bothered to stop and think. And in a fraction of a second, my whole existence got clouded by the burden of shame...

Shame, another feeling I had to get comfortable with